I think it would be quite spectacular to have this URL printed out on business cards to whip out super-fast ninja-style when someone asks the question. Definitely a different list than 10 years ago. And I have no doubt that as time goes on, it will continue to evolve still. Ok, ok, you all know me. You know, The List. For What am i looking for in a man, they began back in the days of M. To which a group of our guy friends responded with a list of their own — see above.
And then…I got really annoyed with these kind of lists. Well, with the exception of Tim Riggins. But to be honest, my wish list for a guy is now much shorter than it used to be. They are the guys who genuinely want to know how you are doing. They are the guys who lend
What am i looking for in a man hand or give to help someone without thinking twice. Alternative title for this one? But being able to look each other in the eye and talk about the big, the small, the serious, the funny, the difficult, the exciting, the hopeful things about life?
Basically, I consider myself a Christian, and would love to find a guy who says the same. And to each, his or her own.
Someone who gets that life is not always black and white, but who believes that there is a purpose and hope and Creator behind it all. Someone who prays, someone who is a part of a community seeking to follow Christ, and someone who humbly wants to learn and serve Him.
Especially those who have really wrestled with faith and have come out still wrestling but worshipping. And big bonus if he lives in KC and can come to my church, which is just about my favorite place on earth. Sure, it can grow the more you get to know someone, but there has to be at least something there to start with. And after being single this long, I damn well hope that I find a guy who makes my heart beat a little faster when I see him. Yep, was always drawn to the basketball players.
I feel like it should also be noted that as I get older, I tend to find more guys attractive whom I might not have considered years ago. But the fact still remains that some guys are more attractive to me, and others are more attractive to others. It all somehow seems to miraculously balance out in the world.
Ok, this one may sound weird. But I kind of hope that I find someone who has been through something difficult in life. Not that I wish that on anyone, but I feel that things like heartbreak, loss, pain, injury, grief, and disappointment have this way of shaping us like nothing else in life.
And — in a weird way, I would love to meet someone who has been through that. I told you I was way too realistic for my own good. But I would prefer to date and marry someone who has been there at least once before. The "What am i looking for in a man" I get, the more I really want to make traveling and seeing the world a priority in my life.
I know that different seasons bring opportunities for travel, and Disney World or a trip to visit the grandparents might be the most realistic option when you have young kids. I guess we will see. But I guess the good news is that I at least like this list much than the one I had a decade ago. So for all inquiring minds, I hope you enjoy it. And please know that this is NOT a call for you to go emailing this post to any and all single men you know.
Your email address will not be published. Totally thought I was reading my biography!!! A good friend once told me the only thing on my list should be someone who treats me right, everything else is negotiable. Thanks for sharing Ali! But I have way fewer non-negotiables now than I did when I was 21!
Ali, I loved reading your list! Oh, and for the record…it took me exactly 3 dates after a completely blind first date to be able to check off every single thing on my list: My list, about 45 years ago, included two more traits that I knew I had to have: It pays to hold out for everything on your list! got, not a perfect man, but the perfect man for me! What a fantastic list! I had a pre-John list similar to yours, with character things as well as a few appearance notes please be handsome and healthy, please please please.
I so hope and pray this list is satisfied for you! Thanks for being vulnerable and sharing. Such a great thing to share with other women who are also seeking relationships. So glad yerrrr my friend! I had a conversation with a friend about this very issue just this evening. I think this is a very realistic list of desires. Your list is actually quite similar to mine.
Definitely not all of the same interests, but the ability to find enjoyment out of the same things. I remember thinking of these lists all the time.
He enjoys a lot of down time, but is an amazingly efficient problem solver and a little bit of a hustler when something needs to be accomplished. Hey Alison, so vulnerable of you to put this out there.
I know lots of guys adore you: Keep in mind no one is perfect. Emotional stability and mental health are huge. But all in all it is a leap of faith!! Vulnerability and acceptance is huge!! Not feeling I have to impress the guy with wit or energy.
Girl… I think your list is awesome. I also think your comments on him being a Christian were very well written and something that has made all the difference in our marriage we are both Christians, in the way that you described.
Your list is thoughtful, considerate and realistic and I like to think mine is much the same. Kindess goes a long way. For me, a big must-have is a lover of animals! I love my dog and seeing a guy who loves animals or owns animals is a massive attraction for me. Seriously, this is a brilliant post. Compromising does not always equal, lowering your standards. Sommer — So true! Because no jokeI really do have a man for her!!!
He does love to travel, maybe he would move??? Anywhoooo…thanks for this awesome post! And yet, His plan is perfect. Looking forward to reading some of your other posts! Please forgive the last comment.
I accidentally only pasted in part of it. Was trying to say how much I liked that section, but I only pasted your quote! I love how you explained 3. I saw this accidentally, as I had originally been searching the internet for advice about eating well on a strict budget — I graduated with degrees in music, after all — and came across your lovely triple Aldi posts.
I then somehow found myself here. That was hours ago, but this post has been rattling around in my brain so much since, I had to comment. I have been wrestling with this very question, albeit from the other side, and I am heartened to see that there are women whose lists very closely mirror mine, especially in the details of point three.
Online identities can only show so much, but you seem like a beautiful-hearted person. Keep being that person! This is not to say I am a paragon of maturity myself, but I have dealt with enough Girls to know that I am very much not attracted to them. I need a Woman — with that mix of humility, patience, and the perspective which comes from experience i. I believe that many of my failed relationships, such as they were, would have been successful if one or both of us had been more willing to put
What am i looking for in a man other first and assume the best in each "What am i looking for in a man." I appreciate the work you are doing, and this list in particular… it certainly gives me many things to think about.
Hi Ali, I love this post, mainly because in coming up with this awesome, thoughtful list, you are taking control. You have inspired me. I hope that one day I will feel worthy of partnership, and be as open and brazen about what I want as you. I thought this was so funny mainly because I am divorced after 25 years of marriage and those lists are ever changing to say the least.
The guy she's looking for doesn't have drastic mood swings.
. By the way, notice that I did not list that a man must be six feet tall, be ripped. How to Figure Out What I'm Looking for in a Man.